Thank you for this! My ex evidently could only “ love” me if I was a sickly 95#. But I’m 65, birthed 3 children, lost 5 pregnancies, and raised our (5) kids including two adopted. My body fluctuates. But I’m finally getting healthy and hopefully will never weigh 95# again. Even my grossly obese mom called me “fat” and all kids of insults. I’ve had three major back surgeries, but km finally upright and walking again. And that feels victorious! I caught a view of myself from my security camera this week, and I’m not even slightly overweight. Why did I let these people bully me over something that doesn’t even matter? I’m enough. And you’re enough. And all women are enough. ♥️
Even though I've known a lot of women who are in the midst of this kind of hell, as a guy just didn't get it. This article helped me to realize exactly what was going on. I need to re-read this for itvto really sink in.
Those numbers don’t matter MK. Give your 40 years credit for finally realizing that our society is broken; obsessing over things that in the long run, just don’t matter. My 40s decade was when I went back to school and proved to myself I could still think. That decade also told me for sure that I don’t give a rat’s behind about what others think of me. It’s none of my business anyway. You will do a lot of growing this decade so sit back and love the ride. I know because I’ve taken that same ride. Good luck being yourself for you and your two wonderful children. You’re their prime example.
I'm 73 years old, scrawny arms with flabby non existent muscles, and I was smiling or gritting my bad teeth as I read your post. In my 73 years I've lost my mother and grandmother to cancer, my aunt to something that paralyzed her for two weeks - nearly killing my mother (her twin sister) in the process, my grandfather to emphysema, and my father to a work accident. I've had partners who took advantage of me and a few who tried to kill themselves (and me) with smoking and drinking. In all that, I learned one lesson, which I think you have also figured out - love yourself for who you are, and f### the haters and those who would tell you to fit THEIR image of "beauty" or "perfection."
Beautiful and so true! I was blessed to have had a husband I met at my heaviest and it made zero difference to him. I lost weight over the years and he was proud of me but always reminded me that it wasn't my size he fell in love with. Thankful I had him for 16 years before losing him to rotten cancer. ❤️ I think you are beautiful inside and out, MK, no matter what you weigh or how many scars and wrinkles you have!
I am finally at an age where I really don't care what others think of me. If I am their idea of a good weight or if I need to color my hair to hide the gray. The list is long, so I will not bore you with the details. I am here to tell you that I am HAPPY with how I look. It is freeing to not worry about what others think of me. And I can love people more because I feel this way.
I've always thought myself immune to stressing out about this earth-suit I inhabit. After all, I am a guy and we just don't care about such things... Then I recall MY numbers: Weight always too low, biceps always too small, eyesight not 20/20 uncorrected, feet too big. Too many failed marriages, too few successes. So it was good to read this and to be reminded that we aren't reduceable to numbers and that God is good. 16 years and counting married to the most amazing human on the planet. Six grandkids who are the most beautiful grandkids and there will be no debate on that. I can't see my parentheses 'cause I've worn facial hair for years to disguise an almost non-existent upper lip but I see the crinkles at the corners of my eyes. Some folks call those "crows' feet" but they too are laugh lines. You have them too and I hope they serve as reminders of the happy times that etched them.
There's only 3 opinions about your body that matters. Your's, God's, and the man you choose to have as your partner in life. Whether it be a friend, casual dating man, boyfriend, or whatever you want him to be.
Your's will always be the hardest opinion to live with.
God doesn't care and loved you when you were unlovable. His opinion is always the easiest to live with.
Your man will always love you just as you are, and never change. If he doesn't, demands conditions, or changes his opinion, he was the wrong man for you.
Thank you for this! My ex evidently could only “ love” me if I was a sickly 95#. But I’m 65, birthed 3 children, lost 5 pregnancies, and raised our (5) kids including two adopted. My body fluctuates. But I’m finally getting healthy and hopefully will never weigh 95# again. Even my grossly obese mom called me “fat” and all kids of insults. I’ve had three major back surgeries, but km finally upright and walking again. And that feels victorious! I caught a view of myself from my security camera this week, and I’m not even slightly overweight. Why did I let these people bully me over something that doesn’t even matter? I’m enough. And you’re enough. And all women are enough. ♥️
Even though I've known a lot of women who are in the midst of this kind of hell, as a guy just didn't get it. This article helped me to realize exactly what was going on. I need to re-read this for itvto really sink in.
Mary Katherine, you've already beaten every number, every foul description, and you are gorgeous. Be well.
Those numbers don’t matter MK. Give your 40 years credit for finally realizing that our society is broken; obsessing over things that in the long run, just don’t matter. My 40s decade was when I went back to school and proved to myself I could still think. That decade also told me for sure that I don’t give a rat’s behind about what others think of me. It’s none of my business anyway. You will do a lot of growing this decade so sit back and love the ride. I know because I’ve taken that same ride. Good luck being yourself for you and your two wonderful children. You’re their prime example.
MK- Wishing you a wonderful fall with the kiddos going back to school & we are excited to see what project you will get to next!
Your stories bring laughter & joy. The words are like a warm hug. Thank you for sharing! ❤️🥹🦄🌈💜💖💕
MK,
I'm 73 years old, scrawny arms with flabby non existent muscles, and I was smiling or gritting my bad teeth as I read your post. In my 73 years I've lost my mother and grandmother to cancer, my aunt to something that paralyzed her for two weeks - nearly killing my mother (her twin sister) in the process, my grandfather to emphysema, and my father to a work accident. I've had partners who took advantage of me and a few who tried to kill themselves (and me) with smoking and drinking. In all that, I learned one lesson, which I think you have also figured out - love yourself for who you are, and f### the haters and those who would tell you to fit THEIR image of "beauty" or "perfection."
Beautiful and so true! I was blessed to have had a husband I met at my heaviest and it made zero difference to him. I lost weight over the years and he was proud of me but always reminded me that it wasn't my size he fell in love with. Thankful I had him for 16 years before losing him to rotten cancer. ❤️ I think you are beautiful inside and out, MK, no matter what you weigh or how many scars and wrinkles you have!
I am finally at an age where I really don't care what others think of me. If I am their idea of a good weight or if I need to color my hair to hide the gray. The list is long, so I will not bore you with the details. I am here to tell you that I am HAPPY with how I look. It is freeing to not worry about what others think of me. And I can love people more because I feel this way.
I've always thought myself immune to stressing out about this earth-suit I inhabit. After all, I am a guy and we just don't care about such things... Then I recall MY numbers: Weight always too low, biceps always too small, eyesight not 20/20 uncorrected, feet too big. Too many failed marriages, too few successes. So it was good to read this and to be reminded that we aren't reduceable to numbers and that God is good. 16 years and counting married to the most amazing human on the planet. Six grandkids who are the most beautiful grandkids and there will be no debate on that. I can't see my parentheses 'cause I've worn facial hair for years to disguise an almost non-existent upper lip but I see the crinkles at the corners of my eyes. Some folks call those "crows' feet" but they too are laugh lines. You have them too and I hope they serve as reminders of the happy times that etched them.
There's only 3 opinions about your body that matters. Your's, God's, and the man you choose to have as your partner in life. Whether it be a friend, casual dating man, boyfriend, or whatever you want him to be.
Your's will always be the hardest opinion to live with.
God doesn't care and loved you when you were unlovable. His opinion is always the easiest to live with.
Your man will always love you just as you are, and never change. If he doesn't, demands conditions, or changes his opinion, he was the wrong man for you.
You're #1 in our hearts, MK 💕 As always, thank you for sharing.
MK Your words make sense in a senseless time. I always enjoy your sharing.