Oh, MK, I’m praying for you and your family so hard. I don’t even know you but I feel like I do. I feel that way because you’ve shared so much of yourself with your readers, and I count myself lucky to be among them for quite sometime. As a fellow empath, it feels like a close friend has told me she’s getting divorced and I mourn for you and with you. I hope you feel seen and understood because you have done that for me so many times. You are a gift even now. I know there’s nothing I can say to make the pain go away but I will try by telling you that you are loved and better days are definitely coming.
Grieving isn’t just for physical death....it isn’t a destination, it’s a journey....the stages aren’t necessarily in order and will be revisited as they spontaneously rear up....prayers for strength, peace and comfort...💕
God bless you for sharing your empties. And may she keep you safe and somewhat sane (a joke). Prayers from me that you may manage your life during this time. Hug those dear kiddies and take some comfort in knowing you have many supporters and fans praying for you. Take care!
Oh how horrible. I am so so sorry. I can’t believe you have to go through this and having the children. MK you are very strong, something I learned about you from following you for years and reading your books. Just know right now things are raw but you will, for your sake and the children’s sake get through this. And remember to turn to God for help. He will hear you and help you. Much love and prayers. 💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏
I keep trying to find words of comfort but I don’t really think that there are many. You are one of the best, kindest, most compassionate people I know. I hope you show yourself some of that compassion. I love you so very much.
I've been there (after 18 ½ years and 2 kids), and I never even saw it coming, and it hit me like a Mack truck! There were times when I couldn't breathe, and other times when I didn't even want to breathe anymore because of the pain. That's when I learned that heartbreak is a very real and physical thing. But I knew my two kids needed me. So that, and God, along with my family and friends, are what got me through it. I never knew it was possible to cry literally ALL NIGHT LONG, without a single, momentary break from the sobs. I would lie there, picturing him in bed, in the arms of the other woman, and would cry so hard that I would lose my breath! I still loved that man with all my heart and would have taken him back in an instant, willing to forgive yet another affair. But I knew I deserved better than that, so I filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery (with proof), and just six weeks later I was officially single. And I felt my life was over. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, and I cried buckets every night after my kids went to bed. I was positive that I would never be happy again, because I KNEW I would never stop loving him. My only purpose in life from then on was to be there for my kids. After all, their world had just been blown up, too. So I grieved for the death of what had once been - a happy life, a happy marriage, a wonderful and loving home, which I came to realize had been just an illusion. But it was still a death that I was grieving for, because I was grieving for the man I loved so deeply - a man I realized no longer existed. Had he ever existed? Yes, he had, but I wasn't aware of when the man I had loved so much for so long became someone else. Who was this stranger who had taken over my husband's body?
The man I had loved for so long would never have turned so cold, so deliberately mean and cruel to me, nor would he have abandoned his kids like that, even refusing to pay child support. The man who had always been a wonderful, loving, hands-on dad no longer existed.Three months after our divorce, our daughter was sick but, with just my salary and no child support from him, I didn't have the money to take her to a doctor. And I had no food in the house, nor the money to buy any. But when I called him to tell him that and to ask for the child support, his exact words were, "That's not my problem." And that was a turning point for me!
Hurt ME, cheat on ME, and screw ME over every chance you get, but God help the one who hurts my kids! That phone call gave me the anger I needed to begin to heal from the pain and get mad. And damn, did I get mad! But I used that anger to my advantage.
I wrote letters to him and kept copies of them. And in those letters, where I made sure to write only the truth, I wrote things which I knew would cause problems between him and his new wife. I used his own words to me and turned them on him. But I was very strategic about it, so it was almost a year before I took him to court for the child support. I won my case in record time, with the judge even ordering him to pay me all of the back pay, and he had to pay it that day! He had to go take out a bank loan to pay me but, to use his own words, I felt "That's not my problem." He had been supporting and playing dad to his new stepsons, while he knew his own kids were doing without. But I saw to it that my kids never went hungry or without medical care by getting a second job. My kids were and are my world! This was in 1990 and I am living proof that there IS life, love, and happiness after divorce. I have been very happily remarried to a wonderful man, one who loves and treats my kids ad his own for 30+ years now. God has so richly blessed me beyond what I ever thought was possible! And He has blessed my kids with this wonderful man who is their dad in every way that matters.
And as for my ex, he's now on wife #4 (I was his 1st wife) and still ignores our kids. But they have both told me they consider their stepdad as their dad. They no longer hurt from my ex husband's abandonment of them, and my grandkids call my husband "Grandpa".
Oh, and my POS ex actually became our neighbor when he and wife #4 got married. 🙄 Apparently, just before they began dating, she had bought a place just a few houses from me. I would love to have been a fly on the wall after their relationship became serious and they realized where the place she had bought was. But from the day they moved in, I have never once driven by their house because I have absolutely no desire or interest in seeing him, even from a distance. The day I realized I had become completely indifferent towards him (which was years ago) was a wonderful, liberating, and happy day for me.
So Mary Katherine, even though I feel your situation is different from what I went through, I know your pain is every bit as bad as what I went through. And even though you probably can't see it now, I wanted you to know that it truly does get better. And I honestly can't see your soon to be ex husband ever turning into the monster that mine did. But it was after I finally let go of the wheel and let God do the steering that my life changed, and I learned what true happiness and contentment are. And my prayer for all of you is that you all find the same happiness that I have. ❤️🙏
I am so glad to see this appear in my inbox. It is hard - so hard - to love hard, to put in effort, and to not get the outcome you wanted. My marriage dissolved a little over 2 years ago, now, and I can honestly say I put my all into it. It's sad that it ended. And there's also hope for the future that follows. A terrible, painful, beautiful rebirth is on its way. There's so much... everything. I cried when I saw you were getting a divorce. I hope the waves of beauty come in quickly and frequently
I happened to see something on Instagram I think where a lady said someone asked her how she was doing. And she answered "Compared to what?" That really resonated with me as my husband passed away suddenly a few weeks ago. I imagine that answer will work for you as well. Compared to what? MK my heart has been breaking for you. As a total stranger (who feels like I know you) I want to fix it for you and can't. I am praying for you and your family to get through this horrible time and come out with a new normal that works for and with you.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I got divorced 15 years ago when my kids were 6 and 2 and I can still feel the hurt. I didn’t hurt for my marriage because, unlike your situation, it had been a long time coming and I had grieved that while married, but gosh I hurt for my kids. I remember telling them about the divorce, the tears and hurt on their little faces but I also remember something else. I remember in the weeks and months after the divorce and we got in a new routine that they were happy again and in a much healthier place bc had a mom and dad that were both happier bc the stress of forcing something to work that wasn’t meant to was gone. They still had 2 parents that loved them so much they just did that separately. I know it doesn’t feel like it now but you will get through this and you will be able to smile and laugh again just give yourself grace to get there.
The Empties is the best description I’ve ever heard for this time and place that you’re in. I wish you and your family didn’t have to know this, but I’m hoping and praying for y’all to survive it as best as possible.
We have to feel the feelings (or numbness) in order to process them. And that takes as long as it takes.
Oh, my sweet sister! Your words have given life to my jaded, breaking heart in regards to my faith and spirituality. It breaks my heart even more that you are going through this! It's a load that is so hard to carry, and I'm so sorry that it's been handed to you. I know where you are, I've been there, and it just flat out suuuuukkksss... you will be OK, I promise, but the road is long... I'll be praying for you Always!!
I found you so funny when first saw your posting over a year ago. I looked forward to your stories and felt you had such a hande on your life. With a loving husband and two happy childern and a book being published that I did purchase but have not gotten to yet. How exciting your life seemed and I wished I was as lucky as you. But then I saw your posting bout what your going through now and it is so very sad. After reading that your getting divorce, and your short story about your step father I just want to say sorry and thank you. Maybe someday I can tell my truth about my father and what happen to me when I was young and not be ashamed. Keep telling your stories and stay strong.
So sorry to hear this news. Even the strongest and toughest of us have struggles and have to work our way through The Empties. You are so cared for and cared about and hope that helps with the long days of emotional hot messes that will be happening. Lots of prayers to you and your little ones. Jamie G
Oh, MK, I’m praying for you and your family so hard. I don’t even know you but I feel like I do. I feel that way because you’ve shared so much of yourself with your readers, and I count myself lucky to be among them for quite sometime. As a fellow empath, it feels like a close friend has told me she’s getting divorced and I mourn for you and with you. I hope you feel seen and understood because you have done that for me so many times. You are a gift even now. I know there’s nothing I can say to make the pain go away but I will try by telling you that you are loved and better days are definitely coming.
Grieving isn’t just for physical death....it isn’t a destination, it’s a journey....the stages aren’t necessarily in order and will be revisited as they spontaneously rear up....prayers for strength, peace and comfort...💕
God bless you for sharing your empties. And may she keep you safe and somewhat sane (a joke). Prayers from me that you may manage your life during this time. Hug those dear kiddies and take some comfort in knowing you have many supporters and fans praying for you. Take care!
Oh how horrible. I am so so sorry. I can’t believe you have to go through this and having the children. MK you are very strong, something I learned about you from following you for years and reading your books. Just know right now things are raw but you will, for your sake and the children’s sake get through this. And remember to turn to God for help. He will hear you and help you. Much love and prayers. 💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏
I keep trying to find words of comfort but I don’t really think that there are many. You are one of the best, kindest, most compassionate people I know. I hope you show yourself some of that compassion. I love you so very much.
Thinking of you... I'm sad for you... Sending love... 🥺💖
I've been there (after 18 ½ years and 2 kids), and I never even saw it coming, and it hit me like a Mack truck! There were times when I couldn't breathe, and other times when I didn't even want to breathe anymore because of the pain. That's when I learned that heartbreak is a very real and physical thing. But I knew my two kids needed me. So that, and God, along with my family and friends, are what got me through it. I never knew it was possible to cry literally ALL NIGHT LONG, without a single, momentary break from the sobs. I would lie there, picturing him in bed, in the arms of the other woman, and would cry so hard that I would lose my breath! I still loved that man with all my heart and would have taken him back in an instant, willing to forgive yet another affair. But I knew I deserved better than that, so I filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery (with proof), and just six weeks later I was officially single. And I felt my life was over. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, and I cried buckets every night after my kids went to bed. I was positive that I would never be happy again, because I KNEW I would never stop loving him. My only purpose in life from then on was to be there for my kids. After all, their world had just been blown up, too. So I grieved for the death of what had once been - a happy life, a happy marriage, a wonderful and loving home, which I came to realize had been just an illusion. But it was still a death that I was grieving for, because I was grieving for the man I loved so deeply - a man I realized no longer existed. Had he ever existed? Yes, he had, but I wasn't aware of when the man I had loved so much for so long became someone else. Who was this stranger who had taken over my husband's body?
The man I had loved for so long would never have turned so cold, so deliberately mean and cruel to me, nor would he have abandoned his kids like that, even refusing to pay child support. The man who had always been a wonderful, loving, hands-on dad no longer existed.Three months after our divorce, our daughter was sick but, with just my salary and no child support from him, I didn't have the money to take her to a doctor. And I had no food in the house, nor the money to buy any. But when I called him to tell him that and to ask for the child support, his exact words were, "That's not my problem." And that was a turning point for me!
Hurt ME, cheat on ME, and screw ME over every chance you get, but God help the one who hurts my kids! That phone call gave me the anger I needed to begin to heal from the pain and get mad. And damn, did I get mad! But I used that anger to my advantage.
I wrote letters to him and kept copies of them. And in those letters, where I made sure to write only the truth, I wrote things which I knew would cause problems between him and his new wife. I used his own words to me and turned them on him. But I was very strategic about it, so it was almost a year before I took him to court for the child support. I won my case in record time, with the judge even ordering him to pay me all of the back pay, and he had to pay it that day! He had to go take out a bank loan to pay me but, to use his own words, I felt "That's not my problem." He had been supporting and playing dad to his new stepsons, while he knew his own kids were doing without. But I saw to it that my kids never went hungry or without medical care by getting a second job. My kids were and are my world! This was in 1990 and I am living proof that there IS life, love, and happiness after divorce. I have been very happily remarried to a wonderful man, one who loves and treats my kids ad his own for 30+ years now. God has so richly blessed me beyond what I ever thought was possible! And He has blessed my kids with this wonderful man who is their dad in every way that matters.
And as for my ex, he's now on wife #4 (I was his 1st wife) and still ignores our kids. But they have both told me they consider their stepdad as their dad. They no longer hurt from my ex husband's abandonment of them, and my grandkids call my husband "Grandpa".
Oh, and my POS ex actually became our neighbor when he and wife #4 got married. 🙄 Apparently, just before they began dating, she had bought a place just a few houses from me. I would love to have been a fly on the wall after their relationship became serious and they realized where the place she had bought was. But from the day they moved in, I have never once driven by their house because I have absolutely no desire or interest in seeing him, even from a distance. The day I realized I had become completely indifferent towards him (which was years ago) was a wonderful, liberating, and happy day for me.
So Mary Katherine, even though I feel your situation is different from what I went through, I know your pain is every bit as bad as what I went through. And even though you probably can't see it now, I wanted you to know that it truly does get better. And I honestly can't see your soon to be ex husband ever turning into the monster that mine did. But it was after I finally let go of the wheel and let God do the steering that my life changed, and I learned what true happiness and contentment are. And my prayer for all of you is that you all find the same happiness that I have. ❤️🙏
I am so glad to see this appear in my inbox. It is hard - so hard - to love hard, to put in effort, and to not get the outcome you wanted. My marriage dissolved a little over 2 years ago, now, and I can honestly say I put my all into it. It's sad that it ended. And there's also hope for the future that follows. A terrible, painful, beautiful rebirth is on its way. There's so much... everything. I cried when I saw you were getting a divorce. I hope the waves of beauty come in quickly and frequently
I happened to see something on Instagram I think where a lady said someone asked her how she was doing. And she answered "Compared to what?" That really resonated with me as my husband passed away suddenly a few weeks ago. I imagine that answer will work for you as well. Compared to what? MK my heart has been breaking for you. As a total stranger (who feels like I know you) I want to fix it for you and can't. I am praying for you and your family to get through this horrible time and come out with a new normal that works for and with you.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I got divorced 15 years ago when my kids were 6 and 2 and I can still feel the hurt. I didn’t hurt for my marriage because, unlike your situation, it had been a long time coming and I had grieved that while married, but gosh I hurt for my kids. I remember telling them about the divorce, the tears and hurt on their little faces but I also remember something else. I remember in the weeks and months after the divorce and we got in a new routine that they were happy again and in a much healthier place bc had a mom and dad that were both happier bc the stress of forcing something to work that wasn’t meant to was gone. They still had 2 parents that loved them so much they just did that separately. I know it doesn’t feel like it now but you will get through this and you will be able to smile and laugh again just give yourself grace to get there.
The Empties is the best description I’ve ever heard for this time and place that you’re in. I wish you and your family didn’t have to know this, but I’m hoping and praying for y’all to survive it as best as possible.
We have to feel the feelings (or numbness) in order to process them. And that takes as long as it takes.
✌🏼❤️🫂
Oh, my sweet sister! Your words have given life to my jaded, breaking heart in regards to my faith and spirituality. It breaks my heart even more that you are going through this! It's a load that is so hard to carry, and I'm so sorry that it's been handed to you. I know where you are, I've been there, and it just flat out suuuuukkksss... you will be OK, I promise, but the road is long... I'll be praying for you Always!!
You and your family are in my heart while you go through this enormous and world-inverting change
I found you so funny when first saw your posting over a year ago. I looked forward to your stories and felt you had such a hande on your life. With a loving husband and two happy childern and a book being published that I did purchase but have not gotten to yet. How exciting your life seemed and I wished I was as lucky as you. But then I saw your posting bout what your going through now and it is so very sad. After reading that your getting divorce, and your short story about your step father I just want to say sorry and thank you. Maybe someday I can tell my truth about my father and what happen to me when I was young and not be ashamed. Keep telling your stories and stay strong.
So very sorry. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So sorry to hear this news. Even the strongest and toughest of us have struggles and have to work our way through The Empties. You are so cared for and cared about and hope that helps with the long days of emotional hot messes that will be happening. Lots of prayers to you and your little ones. Jamie G