I missed you for a multitude of reasons, MK, but what I missed the most is the way that you so perfectly describe feelings I have that I haven't found the right words for yet. ✌️ ❤️ 🐧
I started suffering from debilitating anxiety 10 years ago after a move to another state where I had no friends, family, or church. Anxiety is overwhelming fear of what might, but probably won’t, happen. It took almost 8 years but I finally faced each and every fear and now have completely manageable anxiety (still take meds). It was so hard, but so worth it. I was motivated because I wanted to be a wife, mother, and grandmother who was happy and able to give generously to my family and friends. I wrote one of my first Substack articles about the experience.
MK, I’m going through this right now. None of the joy part, but all the fear part. I started reading and watching your posts on Facebook then moved to Substack. I’ve been through a religious journey very similar to yours. However, I ended up an atheist (aka devil worshiper to my Christian family members).
I was raised Southern Baptist in the sticks of the Sipsey wilderness but never put much stock in most of it. I really did try for a very long time. I think a combination of perimenopause and long covid took all that trying energy out of me. It took me 45 years to “come out” to my family. They’re praying for my eternal soul that they fully believe will burn in hell for all eternity.
Things have been rough lately. I feel like all I’m doing is running around trying to put out a forest fire with one solo cup. It’s not very effective and it’s exhausting. The anxiety of watching our country die before our eyes, the overwhelming hatred for so many, the breadth of ignorance, the capitulation , the excuses, the sheer evilness that men and women are capable of is too much for me at times.
My own personal struggles financially, emotionally, and physically is just an extra punch to the solar plexus. The fear can be all encompassing and utterly paralyzing. But I only have myself, so I can’t give up. No one is coming to my rescue. I will have to rescue myself, so fuck fear. Here I come.
P.S. Congratulations on finding joy after so much heartache and pain. You give me hope.
Fear is a constant companion these days. It stokes the anxiety I’ve suffered for the last 17 years. These words speak to me. I walk forward, every day in defiance showing up. Hopefully a new approach can change that.
“I know that there won’t always be love and safety at the end of a trust fall.”
Hi, MK. I know you’ve written about all things Jesus, yet he’s there .. and, he’ll always be there, for the love and safety at the end of the trust fall. Of course, it’s soften when we trust the trustee, and add faith towards the mix.
So beautifully written and we love Matt! He seems to be such an exceptional and intuitive partner ❤️ People chide me for my cheery nature but I truly believe Happiness and Joy are gifts/blessings to be cherished and celebrated IN THE MOMENT! Let it surround and nourish you.
Just today I was telling a friend about you, and how I first saw you on Ellen. I couldn’t find the words to explain how much of an impact and inspiration I felt. I’ve been following you ever since!
You are an inspiration to me, and hundreds of others.
Beautiful! There beside your fear was your soulmate… & in that moment, everything changed. Joy looks AMAZING on you MK! 😉💕. Thanks for sharing… looking forward to all of it.
I missed you for a multitude of reasons, MK, but what I missed the most is the way that you so perfectly describe feelings I have that I haven't found the right words for yet. ✌️ ❤️ 🐧
I started suffering from debilitating anxiety 10 years ago after a move to another state where I had no friends, family, or church. Anxiety is overwhelming fear of what might, but probably won’t, happen. It took almost 8 years but I finally faced each and every fear and now have completely manageable anxiety (still take meds). It was so hard, but so worth it. I was motivated because I wanted to be a wife, mother, and grandmother who was happy and able to give generously to my family and friends. I wrote one of my first Substack articles about the experience.
Thank you MK for sharing!
As always, your writing is beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us!
MK, I’m going through this right now. None of the joy part, but all the fear part. I started reading and watching your posts on Facebook then moved to Substack. I’ve been through a religious journey very similar to yours. However, I ended up an atheist (aka devil worshiper to my Christian family members).
I was raised Southern Baptist in the sticks of the Sipsey wilderness but never put much stock in most of it. I really did try for a very long time. I think a combination of perimenopause and long covid took all that trying energy out of me. It took me 45 years to “come out” to my family. They’re praying for my eternal soul that they fully believe will burn in hell for all eternity.
Things have been rough lately. I feel like all I’m doing is running around trying to put out a forest fire with one solo cup. It’s not very effective and it’s exhausting. The anxiety of watching our country die before our eyes, the overwhelming hatred for so many, the breadth of ignorance, the capitulation , the excuses, the sheer evilness that men and women are capable of is too much for me at times.
My own personal struggles financially, emotionally, and physically is just an extra punch to the solar plexus. The fear can be all encompassing and utterly paralyzing. But I only have myself, so I can’t give up. No one is coming to my rescue. I will have to rescue myself, so fuck fear. Here I come.
P.S. Congratulations on finding joy after so much heartache and pain. You give me hope.
Fear is a constant companion these days. It stokes the anxiety I’ve suffered for the last 17 years. These words speak to me. I walk forward, every day in defiance showing up. Hopefully a new approach can change that.
Thanks so much for sharing this post MK nowwww what about those drafts! 🤣
Wow, my mind is blown, and my heart is crying out "Yes, this!" Thank you!! ❤
Thanks so much for this. Having subscribed for awhile, happy to see you happy.
“I know that there won’t always be love and safety at the end of a trust fall.”
Hi, MK. I know you’ve written about all things Jesus, yet he’s there .. and, he’ll always be there, for the love and safety at the end of the trust fall. Of course, it’s soften when we trust the trustee, and add faith towards the mix.
So beautifully written and we love Matt! He seems to be such an exceptional and intuitive partner ❤️ People chide me for my cheery nature but I truly believe Happiness and Joy are gifts/blessings to be cherished and celebrated IN THE MOMENT! Let it surround and nourish you.
Great message!
You found a good one.
My favorite line from a recent song - "if you aren't afraid, you aren't trying hard enough"
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19uEnuaEk5/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Thank you MK for you have once again given me a gentle nudge to write again. Your words always wring true and are immensely helpful.
Just today I was telling a friend about you, and how I first saw you on Ellen. I couldn’t find the words to explain how much of an impact and inspiration I felt. I’ve been following you ever since!
You are an inspiration to me, and hundreds of others.
Keep facing your fears, and help us face ours! ❤️
Please keep sharing MK some of us need this 😊
Beautiful! There beside your fear was your soulmate… & in that moment, everything changed. Joy looks AMAZING on you MK! 😉💕. Thanks for sharing… looking forward to all of it.