This is the face of anxiety and depression.

I'm paddling like hell below the surface.

This is the face of anxiety and depression.

I can laugh with bright eyes. I can crack the best jokes at social functions. I can socialize and be the life of the party and make new friends and leave good impressions.

I can do all of that, and make it look easy.

But honestly, when it comes down to it...I’m just a duck. 

To everyone above the water, I appear cool and calm and collected. I’ve got my ducky little life put together. But the truth is, just below the surface, I am paddling like crazy to survive.

Just out of sight, I am wondering if that laugh was a little too loud. If that joke made me look like an idiot. I am wondering if all of the people I talked to at the party were rolling their eyes as soon as I walked away.

Above the surface, I’ve got it together.

Below the surface, I’m completely frenetic.

If I wanted to impress a crowd, it wouldn't be that hard. I could tout the size of my online audience and the fact I wrote a two national best sellers. 

But if I was being honest and vulnerable, I would admit that Imposter Syndrome keeps me hostage. 

I am certain that any day now, my audience and my publisher will all wake up and realize what a joke I am. They'll stop loving me and inevitably leave--like so many others have done. 

This is the face of anxiety and depression.

I smile and laugh and share funny stories. My children are well-adjusted and my career is on a positive trajectory. 

But just below the water...riiiiight beneath the surface...

Hidden right before your eyes, is someone desperately trying to stay afloat. Who isn't sure that they can, or even want to. 

I'm constantly fighting to stay above water. 

Paddling. Paddling. Paddling. 

Trust me when I say you NEVER know the quiet battles that other people are fighting. You would never guess which of your successful, good looking, wealthy, lucky, or well-educated friends are secretly struggling with a dark and aching hurt.

Anxiety and depression hide out of sight. And their victims look like just about anybody: your doctor, your sister, your favorite blogger, your pastor, or even your spouse.

So treat one another delicately, my friends. 

Be loving, understanding, and kind.

You never know which one of us is desperately kicking beneath the surface.