I Disappear Sometimes
and honestly, that's ok
I disappear a lot.
One week I will be active on social media, calling my friends, living it up in the wild.
And the next week... *poof*
I’m gone.
Friends get their feelings hurt over this fact, and I’ve had family grow concerned as well. But the longer I’m alive, the more I realize, this is an important act of self-preservation.
There are times I need silence so I can hear my thoughts. I need space so my mind can breathe. I need that moment for my spirit to rest and recover.
This is a natural thing, and it doesn’t make me crazy. If anything, it’s the other way around. Society has gotten so over connected, that it’s cultivated a weird sense of entitlement. We think we are owed access to the people we love, whenever our heart desires it.
I’ve certainly been guilty of this entitlement. I’ve accused quiet friends of “ghosting”. But let’s be clear, there’s a big difference between disappearing from other people’s lives, and taking a moment to focus on your own.
Last week, a dear friend checked in on me in the most loving way possible.
She sent a text that said: “Hey you are doing that thing where you don’t take my calls. This is fine as long as you are okay.”
I was okay, and I kinda wasn’t. But the point was, she understood. She respected my need to withdraw from the world, and she didn’t demand I return.
Listen to me, people who feel overwhelmed.
IT IS OKAY TO DISAPPEAR.
It’s not crazy and there’s nothing wrong with you. For some, it’s as natural as breathing.
Honor your need to withdraw on occasion, and ask your friends to honor it, too.
Took a bit of a break. Sometimes social media can be so toxic. I think at some point I might post something that will purposefully draw out the misogynists and bullies just so I can have a satisfying cull.
That all sounds very negative doesn't it, haha. Hey, the vast majority of you folks are awesome and I love our interactions. But sometimes you've got to cut away the low key trolls who hide in plain site, like lancing a boil 😄😄😄 OH AND LOVE YOUR PIC
MK, lovely lady, I am interested in changing my Substack status to a paid version. I have tried a couple of times, it won’t seem to go through. Maybe because I’m using PayPal? I’m pretty sure I paid for your webinar with Matthew Stapley about gifts of the spirits, was sure I used PayPal.
You are a beautiful soul, you touch so many people and your raw/real post last week brought tears to my eyes. In your transparency, your real truth, you touched a place in my heart that comforted me. You made me realize I’m not living with my deep dark days alone. Thank you. I have been in a place where I could not pay my bills. There was a point in my life, I had lost my apartment, had no place to go money for a deposit on a new rental and no running car to move my family out. Dealing with my autoimmune disorder combined with my severe depression and body crushing anxiety, I had no one to even help me pack or move. I see you MK, I feel you MK. I know the part that wants to climb under the covers until the crisis is over. I see the mom who wants to win the Mom of the Year award, but struggles to fix breakfast, make sure homework is done, make sure they are in bed by their bedtime. The mom who sees a bowl of cereal or pop tart as a suitable dinner, after all, they have eaten.....
I see you. I know you. I have lived some of the days you are living. I have cried your tears. I still cry your tears some days. You are not alone. Keep sharing Mary Katherine. Please. That video you posted, then was worried what some people would think... it gave me hope. It made me feel just a little less alone.
I would love to someday connect with you. Someone to just co-support at times. Maybe someday. I Think you are a beautiful courageous woman with whom I have so much respect so very much. You show your real, that is rare. Huge hugs. 💜
🛑Please let me know how I can become a paying support for the Substack. Thanks in advance.